Drinking (57)

Saturday, 10 October 2009 00:39

Drinking Nun

John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink. "You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking
Saturday, 04 July 2009 23:30


A number of bartenders were asked if they could predict a person's personality based on drink they ordered. Their answers were very consistent: Female Drinks She orders: Beer Meaning: Casual, low-maintenance, down to earth. Approach: Challenge her
Thursday, 14 February 2008 17:11

Catch the Meat

A man walks into a bar, he sees two pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. He asks the barman, "Why are those two pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling?" The barman replies, "It's a competition
Tuesday, 12 February 2008 02:54

The Golden Saloon

A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy. "Where the hell have you been all night?" she demands. "At
Monday, 01 October 2007 21:01

Life as a Hen

Kenny came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinko drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife, who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.When he
Wednesday, 16 May 2007 07:35

Serve Catholics

A man goes into a bar on the Shankill road with his pet crocodile. He asks, "Do you serve Catholics?"The bartender replies, "Yes, we're very open-minded here. what can I get you?"The man replies, "A
Wednesday, 16 May 2007 07:31

Belligerant Bear

A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer.The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in
Wednesday, 30 August 2006 19:00


A drunk goes into a bar. He is very, very drunk - can hardly stand up. He slurs his way up to the bar and says:"Hey, bartender! Gimme a martini!""No, no," says the bartender. "You've had too much
Thursday, 13 July 2006 19:00

Drinks are on Me

A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender - "Get everyone here a drink on me, and get one for yourself too" The bartender pours a round of drinks, including one for himself, then says to the
Sunday, 09 October 2005 19:00

Water or Coke

W a t e r1. 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated. (Likely applies to half the world population.)2. In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for hunger.3.
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